My father's return to the workforce post-retirement echoed an awakening, much like that of Spotify's founder—both finding that the so-called 'golden years' can come with a tinge of unexpected emptiness. As we unravel the nuances of personal relationships in light of professional triumphs, we discuss what it means to have true connections when success has the potential to isolate.
My father's return to the workforce post-retirement echoed an awakening, much like that of Spotify's founder—both finding that the so-called 'golden years' can come with a tinge of unexpected emptiness. As we unravel the nuances of personal relationships in light of professional triumphs, we discuss what it means to have true connections when success has the potential to isolate.
Recently, my father last year came out of retirement. He was an engineer and I saw him dead and he was the most miserable person I've ever seen and just recently he's like fuck this retirement. I am back. The other day I was listening to this podcast with the founder of Spotify and he said that around the age of 22 he retired and then he bought the Ferrari, got the you know the fancy house and everything, and then start noticing that he is, you know social circle. Actually, what he said is the girls. He said I want. I got the girls I want, but not for the good reasons, because they were after something.
Speaker 1:
So, as a successful CEO, young and pretty Not so young anymore, I'm 30, my friend, it's nothing, man, you're still a baby. I was on the birthday Good party. It was a good party, it was a big party, yeah. So how do you deal with this? Because I had my fair share of this and the most depressing thing was for me is when I, from Monday to Thursday, nobody is asking about me, but on Fridays and Saturdays, my phone is blowing up, everyone wants to go out, everyone wants to sit at my table in the fanciest club, in the VIP, and every Monday hangover, I would think, and say's like nobody is asking me I have the wrong friends, do you? How do you deal with that? Because I'm curious, like at your level of success you have.
Speaker 2:
I wouldn't want to probably like over boast or overestimate the the level of success they that I've achieved. Yeah, I mean, I consider myself as obviously reasonably successful and probably more well-off than majority of society and probably the vast majority of people my age. But then again, you know, there are people who are tremendously more successful, tremendously smarter. But then again, you know there are people are tremendously more successful, tremendously smarter, uh, more you know, handsome or bright, and it was like my father used to always tell me look, there is always somebody who's smarter, richer, funnier and better looking than you, and then this is, then this is very and this is very much true, and I never really pay attention to those things like whether somebody's doing this for me or for some other reasons.
Speaker 1:
Let me help you answer the question.
Speaker 2:
Okay.
Speaker 1:
How do you? I call them parasites. When you have money, they are around, when you don't, they are not around. How do you deal with parasites? Because we come from pretty much the same social well, we have the same social circle here in Warsaw. We hang out at the same places restaurants, clubs, da-da-da-da and we all know these people.
Speaker 2:
You know they are like.
Speaker 1:
You know what? How do you keep distance? I'm saying this because our episode it was about boundaries. We talked a lot about boundaries how you keep that, you protect.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, you know what I think because you know a lot of people know me here, yeah, exactly, yeah, like, and yeah, and I'm very nice to everyone and very friendly, but also I really hang out with a handful of people.
Speaker 2:
I don't really go out and make friends. I don't really go out and talk with everyone and I would say hi, hi, and I would hug and I would be very cool, but I'm really in fact, a very private, you know, small circle kind of person. And that is not because I'm afraid of, you know, of somebody taking advantage. It's just the way I am. It's just that I don't feel like I like I have friendships for years, yeah, and people that are with me, they're with me like for half my life and or whatsoever. And and the point is that I was always a little bit like luckier perhaps than the than than others, and uh, and I never have this um idea that somebody is with me because of some uh um idea that somebody's with me because of some uh advantages or so maybe I'm a little bit naive, but I don't really see this, you know I uh you're not suffering from this?
Speaker 1:
I'm not. I'm definitely not suffering. You're doing something good. You gotta share, because every successful person has this problem, because I know I talk with a lot of ceos and you know founders, yeah, and they're like, they're all lonely and alone and they're like man. All we want is some real friends and I say I share your pain. We all go through this.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I would say it's a little bit lonely at the top. That is true, yeah, and, like I said, I don't have, I don't hang out with everyone. I don't hang out with, like you know, hundreds of people and it was definitely not me, although if you actually think about it and you look at me and you know me, so you know me personally. So we would say what is he saying? What is he talking about? It's like he goes in and says but in the real life, in fact, like I'm very, you know, focused on very like a small group of, uh of people that I'm hanging. So I don't have also time, you know, I can't really, you know, I'm, I'm working basically, uh, I wouldn't say 16 hours here because it's not true, but uh, but I'm, I'm like really focused on, on developing the businesses and I'm, I'm, I prefer, you know, to focus on the people I'm really like attached to and, you know, like really close group of friends, really, like you know, spend time with my I don't know sister and then brother-in-law, and if I even do it because I often don't even do it, you know, because I'm quite a type of a loner, in a way, that I'm feeling amazing when I'm lonely, I'm feeling amazing when I do my meditation and when I do my routine. I just basically recently stopped going out with a girl and then today in the morning I did the meditation. Wow, wow.
Speaker 2:
I haven't done this for so long, like, like, because, because you know, because my routine is very bizarre, I wake up early, then I do workout, then I and you know, I literally, you literally need to live with somebody, uh, to for them to adopt this routine. But if you do it, like you know, on and off and on, like you know you share, you share houses and everything, it's not, it's not going to work. So, so I don't have this social problem that I feel like somebody is like taking from me. I also like much of a giver. Yeah, I really. I like, I like to invite people like I don't really feel that you know, somebody is draining my energy or my money, or or my money, or we go out and I pay. I do it from my side, from the heart. I do it because I like it. I don't do it. I also probably do it more for me than for them. Interesting Again from the egocentric part of you.
Speaker 1:
So why do all this? What's the end goal here? Why are you worried this double growth and where are you going with this? What's your ultimate goal?
Speaker 2:
Well, hopefully financially.
Speaker 1:
No, I mean in all aspects, because I think I can help you here a little bit in the answer. I'm doing all this because all what I want is to have a good time with the people I love, which is my family and close friends. It sounds like a cliche brother I know, I know, but it's. It is the truth. There's no happy moment I would be is when I am traveling or, uh, with the close people I love. That's all.
Speaker 2:
I just want to spend time with them and that's it look this, I think, I think, I think this is the ultimate goal of life, yeah, uh, uh. But obviously it's better to start and it's nicer to spend time in nice places, in traveling a nice way, and it's, you know, this is just nicer. Yeah, uh and uh. And I think I think that what's most important, what gives you most happiness, is the sense of freedom. And the sense of freedom is because, even if you have a very successful business, sometimes you are so tied to it that you don't have this freedom, and this may be a little bit where I am, so I don't really enjoy too much freedom in my life and probably, if the end goal would be if you ask me about the end goal it would be complete freedom freedom of going anywhere.
Speaker 2:
I want, freedom of spending time with whoever I want, freedom of driving anything. I want, freedom of wearing whatever I want, of not having to deal with issues of choosing one or the other, and also having time on my hand that I can use whenever I want, because I come from a background that my family is very much entrepreneurial and my grandfather he much entrepreneurial and and like my grandfather, he he's 88 and he recently retired yeah, and he had like clubs in with bowling and all that, he's like billiards and and and and then the salt machines and all that, and he closed it then a couple years ago. But then he was, you know, he was bored, you know, so he had to, you know, do something. So he, at least he bought some apartments. And now you know, uh, yeah, uh, is dealing with this, you know, but also I believe that so I never want to retire.
Speaker 1:
I hope, because because when you retire you die when you retire a little dramatic, but I know what you mean spiritually.
Speaker 2:
Spiritually, yeah, spiritually, and your head dies because you don't have things anymore, you don't have to, you don't have, you don't need to remember anything.
Speaker 1:
I'll tell you a quick story about that. Recently, my father last year came out of retirement. He was an engineer and I saw him dead and he was the most miserable person I've ever seen. And just recently he's like fuck this retirement, I am back. And now he's back because Morocco gonna organize, you know, the world cup in 2030 and he has this great project with the company he was working for, you know, building the biggest stadium in the world. It will be and he's look at the vision look at the vision he has now.
Speaker 2:
Look, he lost his one year in retirement, yeah. But look at the perspective now. Yes, he has something to look forward to. Yeah, and obviously family is great and all but but a man is a man, you know men needs things, you know going in a woman also too.
Speaker 2:
yeah, but, uh, but I mean, uh, um, this is something that you know you need to be active mentally in order to not so, you see, your father now has an amazing, like five years to come, of thinking of visualizing, of, you know, like solving issues and that are going to definitely come up, and this is something that I believe you, if you, if you don't plan on retirement, because you know a lot of people like like every day average, like employees, is like 60, I want to retire. Well, yeah, what would I do at 60? 60 is still great, yeah.